Dialed In to Math
I didn’t choose my phone number very carefully. It contains a 0 and a 1, which are not associated with any letters, so I can’t make up any cool mnemonic to remember the number. Best I can do is JEB-0812. Bummer. You can find mnemonics for your phone number at Phone Spell — though it’s more fun to create one on your own.
Don’t you just hate automated customer service menus?
For a list of all the ways that technology has failed to improve your quality of life, please press 3.
I once called the Psychology Hotline.
If you are obsessive-compusive, please press 1.
If you are codependent, please ask someone to press 2.
If you have multiple personalities, please press 3, 4, and 5.
If you are paranoid, we already know who you are and what you want. Please remain on the line so we can trace the call and know where to find you.
That, however, was better than calling the Mathematics Hotline.
The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90° and try again.
Working for the phone company is a lot like being an algebraist — you regularly deal with rings and operators. But you’d likely have better colleagues at the phone company.
Who’s the nicest employee at the phone company?
The deferential operator.
Thanks for calling! Have a nice day!