Mathy Names

Walking into the store was a large woman wearing flip flops, shorts that were too tight, and a shirt that revealed an inappropriate amount of her midriff. She approached the customer service desk, and she told the clerk that she would like to return the pink lawn flamingoes she had recently purchased. When asked the reason for the return, she responded, “My husband thinks they don’t look good next to the plastic deer and gnome on the lawn.” The clerk gave her a form to fill out. I watched over her shoulder as she scribbled her name:

Lois Carmen Denominator

That incident reminded me of my first teaching assignment. If name implies destiny, then I was primed for a spectacular year!

• Matt Amatics
• Cal Culator
• Vin Culum
• Cal Culus
• Rose Curve
• Polly Gon
• Al Gorithm
• Polly Hedron
• Al Jabra
• Ella Ment
• Perry Meter
• Polly Nomial
• Hy Perbola
• Lisa Perbound
• M. T. Set
• May Trix
• Al T. Tude
• Norm Ull

Know any others of this ilk? Post them in the comments section.