Seek and Ye Shall Find… or Not

Some say that love is where you find it. These folks are The Whispers.

Others say that love is where you look for it. These folks troll match.com or, in some icky cases, sugardaddy.com.

Yet others can’t find a damn thing — love, their keys, a paper they’ve been working on for weeks. These folks would be described by my mother as people “who couldn’t find their head if it weren’t attached.” For simplicity, though, I just call them mathematicians.

A mathematician is looking for his car keys under a lamp post.  A neighbor sees him and offers to help.  They search for over an hour but don’t find the keys. The neighbor finally asks, “Are you sure you lost your keys under this lamp post?”

“Well, no,” says the mathematician. “I lost them in the alley.”

“Then why are you looking for them over here?” the neighbor asks.

“Because it’s too dark to find anything in the alley!”

For many mathy folks, though, it doesn’t matter where you look…

Why does a mathematician have three pairs of glasses?
One for nearsightedness, one for farsightedness, and one to wear when he’s searching for the other two.

And just for fun, here’s one about a different type of glasses.

A programmer occasionally wakes up and feels thirsty. He thinks for a while and determines a solution. He leaves two glasses next to his bed: one full, in case he wakes up and is thirsty; and one empty, in case he wakes up and is not thirsty.