Drink It Green!

Today is St. Patrick’s Day, of course, but at 9:33am, my mother’s baby boy celebrated the 40th anniversary of his birth. (Yes, I’m a cliche. I was born on St. Patrick’s Day, and my parents named me Patrick. But it was for the best, really — before my exact birthdate was known, the leading name candidate was George William, Jr. Yecch.)

Here’s an appropriate math joke for a beer-filled holiday:

An infinite number of mathy folks walk into a bar. The first one goes up to the bar and orders a pint. The second one goes up and orders half a pint. The third orders 1/4 pint. The fourth orders 1/8 pint, and so forth. A little overwhelmed, the bartneder asks them, “Hey, are you guys sure you want to do this? Isn’t that a bit much?”

The mathy folks reply, “Don’t worry. We know our limits.”

And some other jokes for a day dedicated to drinking…

Charles Dickens walks into a bar and orders a martini. The bartender asks, “Olive or twist?”

René Descartes is sitting in a bar. The bartender asks if he’d like another. “I think not,” says Descartes, and he promptly disappears.

An absent-minded math professor walks up to an attractive woman at the bar. “So, tell me,” he says, “do I come here often?”

A guy walks into a bar with a lizard on his shoulder. “What do you call that?” asks the bartender. “Tiny,” says the guy, “because he’s my newt.”

Okay, enough of that nonsense. Happy St. Patrick’s Day! Have a pint or two for me.