Posts tagged ‘tattoo’

Can’t Argue with That

My momma always told me:

Don’t break a person’s heart; they only have one. Break their bones; they have 206.

Who can argue with that logic? Here are some other logical statements with which you won’t want to argue, either.

I asked my wife what she wanted for her birthday. She said, “Nothing would make me happier than diamond earrings.” So, I got her nothing.

I find it strange that my advisor always begins conversations with me by saying, “You haven’t heard a word I’ve said, have you?”

It doesn’t matter if the glass is half empty or half full; either way, there is room for more alcohol.

I only drink twice a year: when it’s my birthday, and when it’s not.

My math teacher just fell in a wishing well. Go figure! I never knew they worked.

My advisor says I’ll never graduate because I’m lazy. But I just can’t take that kind of criticism. I was going to kill myself… but the gun’s, like, way over there.

Don’t judge a book by its cover… my math book has a picture of someone enjoying himself.

A grad student told his friend, “My girlfriend hates it when I sneak up behind her and kiss her on the cheek. But according to her lawyer, she also hates it when I call her my girlfriend.”

I got a tattoo of Chinese symbols on my arm that reads, “I don’t know. I don’t speak Chinese.” So when someone asks what it says…

Boy: I hate my math professor. He’s a terrible lecturer, he has bad breath, and he laughs at his own jokes.
Girl: Who’s your professor?
Boy: Dr. Jacoby.
Girl: Do you know who I am?
Boy: No.
Girl: I’m Dr. Jacoby’s daughter.
Boy: Do you know who I am?
Girl: No.
Boy: Good.

July 22, 2013 at 11:24 pm Leave a comment

A New Tattoo

I was both nervous and excited when I walked into the tattoo shop. I had been working extra hours in the tutoring center to save for this, and the moment had finally arrived. Sure, I could have played it safe and asked for a tribal pattern on my upper arm. But I’ve always lived by the mantra, “Go big, or go home.”

“What are we doing today?” the tattooist asked.

“How about x + 6 across my left cheek?” A blank stare. “You know, like from algebra,” I explained.

I got the sense he wanted to ask some follow-up questions… but then decided against it. Instead, he started inking. Twenty minutes later, he held up a mirror so I could see his handiwork.

Face Tattoo

“You don’t like it, do you?” he asked.

“No, no, I love it!” I said. “What makes you think I don’t like it?”

“I can tell by the expression on your face.”

January 15, 2013 at 7:48 am 2 comments


About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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