## Posts tagged ‘yo momma’

### KenKen 12 Puzzle for 12/12

Today is the twelfth day of the twelfth month, and in honor of the date, here’s a 4 × 4 KenKen puzzle that has 12 as the target number in each cage. The entire puzzle has only four cages, and it only uses addition and multiplication. Have at it!

But a post with just a KenKen puzzle isn’t much of a post, especially on a math jokes blog. So let’s consider some jokes that have to do with the association between 12 and a dozen. The following are some mathematical insults you can use if you’re playing the dozens.

Yo momma is so fat, she’s proof that the universe is expanding exponentially.

The shortest distance between two points is around yo momma’s ass.

Yo momma is so fat, her volume is an improper integral.

Yo momma is so crazy, when she received a can of Pepsi from the vending machine, she started jumping up and down, yelling, “I won! I won!”

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks convex are inmates locked in a prism.

Yo momma is so infinitely fat, she can eat as much as she wants and not gain any weight.

Yo momma thinks cosine is what she does for a loan.

Yo momma is so dumb, she sleeps with a ruler to keep track of how long she sleeps.

Yo momma is so fat, she took geometry because she heard there was gonna be π.

Yo momma is so fat, the ratio of her circumference to diameter is 4.

Yo momma is so fat, in a love triangle she’d be the hypotenuse.

Yo momma thinks coincide is what you should do when it’s raining.

The integral of your mom is fat plus a constant, where the constant is equal to more fat.

Yo momma is so dumb, she doesn’t know the difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks crossing a mosquito and a mountain climber yields |mosquito| × |mountain climber| × sin(θ).

The derivative of yo momma is strictly positive.

Yo momma is so dumb, she serves beer in Klein bottles.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks that if two people go into a hotel and three come out, the first two must have pro-created.

Yo momma is so dumb, she can’t even solve a second‑order non‑homogeneous differential equation.

Yo momma is so fat, her dress size requires an exponent.

The limit of yo momma’s ass tends to infinity.

Yo momma is so fat, when she steps on the scale, it displays π without a decimal point.

Yo momma’s muscle-to-fat ratio can only be explained by irrational complex numbers.

Yo momma is so ugly, Pythagoras wouldn’t touch her with a 3-4-5 triangle.

### Ratio Celebration

While flipping through the Big Book of Zany Activities from Kidsbook®, my sons came across the following challenge:

Can you make 25 or more words from the following word?
CELEBRATION

Alex put pencil to paper immediately and beamed as he wrote the word ratio.

It made me wonder if I could find 25 or more math words within CELEBRATION. Sure enough, I could. My list of 42 words is at the bottom of this post, though admittedly, a rather liberal view of what constitutes a math word is required, and there are even a couple of proper nouns on the list. But even removing the ones that were iffy, I think I still met the requisite number.

Speaking of ratio, you might be interested in the discussion of the No Slope… Ratio! joke. Though probably not, so here are some other ratio jokes.

A trainer at the gym was asked, “How can I calculate my body fat ratio?”
The trainer responded, “Well, if you have a body and you have fat, the ratio is 1:1. If you have two bodies, the ratio is 2:1. And so on.”

Yo momma is so fat, her ratio of circumference to diameter is 4!

Math Words Within CELEBRATION:

1. Abel
2. Ace
3. Acre
4. Arc
5. Bar
6. Bi
7. Bin
8. Bit
9. Caliber
10. Cantor
11. Cent
12. Center
13. Coil
14. Coin
15. Cone
16. Election
17. Eon
18. Era
19. Lie
20. Line
21. Linear
22. Loci
23. Lone
24. Once
25. One
26. Orb
27. Orbit
28. Net
29. Nil
30. Rate
31. Real
32. Recent
33. Table
34. Tail
35. Tare
36. Teen
37. Ten
38. Tic
39. Tie
40. Tile
41. Tree
42. Trice

### Yo Momma Is So Bad At Math…

The following insult about yo momma is funny, I don’t care who you are.

There are 3 types of people in the world: those who can count, and yo momma.

Of course, it may not be understood by people who don’t recognize the reference, but who cares? Throwing out a “yo momma” joke is mostly for the entertainment of the insulter, not the insultee. And besides, why would you associate with people who don’t understand the reference?

One of the common jokes using the format above is…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

And the follow-up to that one is…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and 9 others.

While we’re on the subject of binary, here’s one of my original “yo momma” jokes:

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks binary is a two-headed canary.

There are lots and lots of “yo momma” jokes out there. But did you know there was an entire genre of yo momma math and science jokes? Google can help you find many, many more, but the following are some of my favorites.

Yo momma is so fat, she is proof that the universe is expanding exponentially.

Yo momma is so fat, her volume is an improper integral.

Yo momma is so infinitely fat, she can eat as much as she wants and not gain any weight.

Yo momma is so fat, she took geometry because she heard there was gonna be π.

Yo momma is so fat, the ratio of her circumference to diameter is 4.

Yo momma is so fat, in a love triangle she’d be the hypotenuse.

Yo momma is so nasty, the shortest distance between her and any person is 50 cents.

Yo momma is so ugly, Pythagoras wouldn’t touch her with a 3-4-5 triangle.

Yo momma is so dumb, she doesn’t know the difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks crossing a mosquito and a mountain climber yields |mosquito| × |mountain climber| × sin(θ).

Yo momma is so dumb, she serves beer in Klein bottles.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks that if two people go into a hotel and three come out, the first two must have pro-created.

Yo momma is so far behind the times, she thinks the best feature of her solar-powered calculator is the flashlight.

Yo momma is so dense, she refracts light.

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

## MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.