Posts tagged ‘Valentine’s Day’

All You Need is LOVE

Valentine’s Day is almost here, but maybe you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. One possibility is to pop over to Wolfram Alpha and ask:

Will you be my Valentine?

Or, with a little mathematical creativity, you might be able to find some over at Desmos:

LOVE Graph

four equations were used to create this LOVE Graph

Or perhaps you’ve already found a special someone. If so, you might want to tell her how beautiful she is, using this (paraphrased) mathematical gem from Woody Allen:

Your figure describes a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.

(No, it’s not sexist of me to imply that readers would have girlfriends. It’s just that a compliment about a paramour’s curves doesn’t work so well when directed at a male.)

Perhaps your special someone makes your heart skip a beat.


Beating Heart graph, made from just one equation

If so, this graph can help you get your beat back:

Wherever you look for love on this Feast of St. Valentine, I hope you find it — or at least stumble on a couple of great problems to distract you.

February 11, 2015 at 2:14 am Leave a comment

Matters of the Cardioid

HeartIt’s Valentine’s Day. Uh-oh… you didn’t forget to get your sweetie something nice, did you? No worries. MJ4MF is here to help.

Of course, you could make a Magic Heart for your special someone. But if Arts ‘n Crafts aren’t your thing, just copy one of the following poems onto a blank card, and your sweetie will be swooning!

Roses are #FF0000,
Violets are #0000FF,
Hexadecimal is awesome,
And so are you!

Roses are #FF0000,
Leaves are #00C000,
We express colors
In powers of 16!

What’s that? You don’t speak RGB? Okay, then try this poem by Michael Stueben called Valentine:

You are the fairest of your sex,
Let me be your hero;
I love you as one over x,
as x approaches zero.

For my money, though, the best math love poem is “Square Root of Three” from Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.

Maybe you’ve been together a long time, and you no longer need to woo your sweetie. In that case, just make him or her smile with this poem from John McClelland…

A lady of 80 named Gertie
Had a boyfriend of 60 named Bertie.
She told him emphatically
That viewed mathematically
By modulo 50, she’s 30.

Or perhaps you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and are currently single. Here’s a poem you can send to your ex.

Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
Our love is like a poem
That doesn’t rhyme.

Or maybe you really don’t feel like celebrating. You’ve been jilted, and you are officially anti‑Valentine’s Day. The following MJ4MF original poem might be more to your liking.

My belief in love was completely destroyed
The day you ripped out my cardioid.
Your actions and words never equated;
Your emotions, randomly generated.
Up and down again, like the curve of sine —
My screwed-up, degenerate Valentine.
So I’ll tell you abruptly, and this you can quote:
F**k this day, and kiss my asymptote!

February 14, 2012 at 2:14 am 2 comments

4 Math Jokes for Valentine’s Day

[Ed. Note: Yes, I know it’s only Lincoln’s Birthday and not Valentine’s Day yet. Just wanted you to have time to practice telling these jokes to your mirror before the big day. There will be more V-Day humor shared on the 14th.]

Let’s start with one of the coolest pictures I’ve ever seen. I found it at the Math Fail blog, but I am not certain that Math Fail deserves credit for it. Whatever. Enjoy.

Heart-Shaped Shadow

And from a demotivational poster comes the following:

Because relationships aren’t hard enough already.

Here are the four jokes that the title promises.

The frequency of our dating would amplify if you’d be my valentine.

I received a B- on my math mid-term. Thinking that my professor might be willing to negotiate since it was close to Valentine’s Day, I gave her a box of chocolates with the inscription “BE MINE.” The next class, I received a valentine from my professor that read, “Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, but it’s still a BE MINE-US.” [Adapted from a story in Reader’s Digest]

An electron is courting an atom and keeps flying around it to get its attention. The atom finally asks, “Why do you keep running circles around me?” The electron replies, “I can’t help it. I’m strangely attracted to you.”

A math student is having dinner alone at his favorite restaurant on Valentine’s Day. The place is filled with happy couples, but an attractive young woman is sitting alone at a table across the room. He finally musters his courage and approaches her. “Mind if I join you?” he asks.

“Of course I won’t sleep with you! I don’t even know you!” she screams.

Confused, he slinks back to his table. The woman comes over a few minutes later. “I’m sorry if I embarassed you,” she says. “I’m a psychology student, and I’m studying how people react to embarassing situations.”

“Oh, no problem,” he says. Then at the top of his lungs, he yells, “What do you mean, $300?”

February 12, 2012 at 11:12 am Leave a comment

About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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