## Posts tagged ‘types’

### There Are Two Types of People…

It’s estimated that there are 7.9 billion people in the world, and counting. But in many ways, it’s fairly easy to divide us all into two types.

There are two types of people:

• Those who think the world can be divided into two types of people.
• Those who don’t.

The earliest known usage of the two-types format was by Mark Twain:

There are basically two types of people: people who accomplish things, and people who claim to have accomplished things. The first group is less crowded.

The potential origin of the two-types meme, as we know it today, may have been this ubiquitous math and computer science joke:

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

A modification of that joke has appeared more recently for the uber-geeks:

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand ternary, those who don’t, and those who mistake it for binary.

Physicist C. N. Yang, who won the Nobel Prize in 1957, is credited with this version:

There are two types of math books: those you cannot read beyond the first sentence, and those you cannot read beyond the first page.

Two of my favorites were included in More Jokes 4 Mathy Folks:

There are three types of people: positive, negative, and relative.

There are two types of people: those who are wise, and those who are otherwise.

The number of modifications to the format are nearly infinite. To create your own, choose the number of things you wish to compare; choose the type of things you wish to compare; describe that number of things, making sure that two of them are diametrically opposed, as to cause an incongruous and humorous result; if possible, be self-deprecating in one of the descriptions; and finally, determine if you want it in paragraph form or as a bulleted list. For instance,

There are two types of math jokes:

• Those that are funny.
• Those that have appeared on this blog.

See? It’s not hard. Now you try. The following mathy examples can serve as inspiration.

There are three things I hate:

• People who can’t do simple math.
• Irony.

There are three things I hate:

• Bulleted lists.
• Lazy people.

There are two kinds of statistics:

• Those you look up.
• Those you make up.

There are three kinds of lies:

• Lies.
• Damned lies.
• Statistics.

There are two kinds of people. Avoid both of them.

There are two kinds of people:

• Those you want to drink with.
• Those who make you want to drink.

On the web, you’ll find all manner of visual adaptations of the meme.

There are two types of people:

There are two types of people:

And finally, there are two types of bloggers:

• Those who would write a blog post about the world containing two types of people.
• Those who would Google it first to see that there about 24,000,000 results for “there are two types of people.”

### Yo Momma Is So Bad At Math…

The following insult about yo momma is funny, I don’t care who you are.

There are 3 types of people in the world: those who can count, and yo momma.

Of course, it may not be understood by people who don’t recognize the reference, but who cares? Throwing out a “yo momma” joke is mostly for the entertainment of the insulter, not the insultee. And besides, why would you associate with people who don’t understand the reference?

One of the common jokes using the format above is…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

And the follow-up to that one is…

There are 10 kinds of people in the world: those who understand binary, and 9 others.

While we’re on the subject of binary, here’s one of my original “yo momma” jokes:

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks binary is a two-headed canary.

There are lots and lots of “yo momma” jokes out there. But did you know there was an entire genre of yo momma math and science jokes? Google can help you find many, many more, but the following are some of my favorites.

Yo momma is so fat, she is proof that the universe is expanding exponentially.

Yo momma is so fat, her volume is an improper integral.

Yo momma is so infinitely fat, she can eat as much as she wants and not gain any weight.

Yo momma is so fat, she took geometry because she heard there was gonna be π.

Yo momma is so fat, the ratio of her circumference to diameter is 4.

Yo momma is so fat, in a love triangle she’d be the hypotenuse.

Yo momma is so nasty, the shortest distance between her and any person is 50 cents.

Yo momma is so ugly, Pythagoras wouldn’t touch her with a 3-4-5 triangle.

Yo momma is so dumb, she doesn’t know the difference between a doughnut and a coffee cup.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks crossing a mosquito and a mountain climber yields |mosquito| × |mountain climber| × sin(θ).

Yo momma is so dumb, she serves beer in Klein bottles.

Yo momma is so dumb, she thinks that if two people go into a hotel and three come out, the first two must have pro-created.

Yo momma is so far behind the times, she thinks the best feature of her solar-powered calculator is the flashlight.

Yo momma is so dense, she refracts light.

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

## MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.