Posts tagged ‘thermometer’

6 Degrees of Bad Math Jokes

I once read an article that said, “To a greater or lesser degree, everything tastes like chicken.” Well, that’s true, but it’s also true that everything tastes like broccoli, to a greater or lesser degree. Carrots, to a greater degree; mint chocolate chip ice cream, to a lesser degree.

To a greater or lesser degree, some of the following jokes are funny.

What did the thermometer say to the graduated cylinder?

Thermometer and Cylinder

A scientist dropped a thermometer and a candle from the roof of a building. He observed that both objects reached the ground at the same time. Conclusion: A thermometer falls at the speed of light.

A doctor walks into a meeting, and a nurse asks why he has a rectal thermometer behind his ear. “Damn,” says the doctor, “some asshole has my pen!”

The star college football player was taking a math exam. The coach desperately needed him for the big game on Saturday, so the professor agreed to an oral exam.

“All right,” said the professor. “How many degrees are in a circle?”

“That depends,” said the boy. “How big is the circle?”

If you’re cold and there’s a right triangle nearby, stand in the corner opposite the hypotenuse. It’s always 90° over there.

The number you have dialed is imaginary. Please rotate your phone 90°, and try again.

December 27, 2013 at 10:00 pm 1 comment

Temperature of McDonald’s Coffee, and Other Celsius Benchmarks

I am so done with cold weather. Northern Virginia had trouble breaking 40°F in January. Granted, we’re not International Falls, MN, where the temperature had trouble surpassing the legal drinking age, but I am still ready for spring.

In January 2005, I went skiing near Montreal. At the bottom of the mountain, a thermometer showed the temperature to be ‑25°C. Next to the thermometer was a sign announcing that the temperature at the top of the mountain was ‑20°C. My buddy said, “Quick, let’s get on the lift. It’s 5° warmer at the top.”

Really? If you can tell the difference between ‑25°C and ‑20°C, you’ve spent too much time in North Dakota.

Back home, I was telling a friend about the trip. I mentioned that it was ‑25° on the mountain. I failed to include the temperature scale, and she actually asked, “Celsius or Fahrenheit?” All I could think was, “Does it matter?” It was cold! C-O-L-D!

International travel can be tough if you need to continually convert between temperature scales. Here’s an annotated Celsius thermometer with some benchmarks:

A related trivia question for which very few folks know the answer (without computing it): At what temperature does degrees Celsius equal degrees Fahrenheit?

February 7, 2011 at 7:56 am 3 comments

About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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