Posts tagged ‘sign’

Stranger than (Science) Fiction at Balticon

I have been to many conferences and conventions. However, the one I attended today is the first that had (or needed to have) the following disclaimer on its website:

Costume weapons must be inspected and peace bonded. Taking costume weapons outside the hotel will create conflict.

The conference was Balticon 46, the annual convention of the Baltimore Science Fiction Society.

Balticon 46

Attendees included science fiction writers, engineers, physicists, and other scientists. To my great surprise, I was envious. No, I did not have any interest in dressing like Mr. Spock, a troll, or Supergirl. But just as Susan Orlean observed true passion through the eyes of John Laroche while writing The Orchid Thief, I felt the fervor of the Balticon attendees. They are deeply passionate about science, they embrace their inner geek, and they devote themselves to learning so they can write science fiction that feels real.

In a word, it was awesome.

I found myself hoping to someday be as passionate about something — anything — as these folks.

I was invited to Balticon to give a humorous math presentation that I call Punz and Puzzles. Outside the room where I was presenting, there was a sign listing the day’s events and times. It read as follows:

0810 – Sunday Cooperative Shavuot Service
1000 – Sucking and Swallowing

1500 – Punz and Puzzles

1700 – Improved Long-Term Therapy to Prevent Recurrent Herpes Outbreaks

That sign alone made my attendance worthwhile. It would appear that the conference is attended by lascivious, orally fixated, math-loving Jews. That’s an interesting demographic.

At the end of my presentation, I asked if anyone had a math joke to share. One gentleman stood up eagerly and said, “Yes, I have some.” Uh-oh. Here’s a guy who wants to occupy the stage for a while. His first joke (below) was reasonable. His next five were not… but I’ll spare you the pain.

What is this?

Hilton + Wilding + Todd + Fisher + Burton + Warner + Fortensky

A Taylor series (specifically, the Elizabeth Taylor series; those are the last names of her husbands)

When it was all over, it occurred to me… perhaps math jokes are my passion? (Shudder.)

May 27, 2012 at 11:59 pm Leave a comment

Free Copy of My Book

A few days ago, a seventh‑grade math teacher and assistant baseball coach sent me the following request:

I would love to have a copy of Math Jokes for Mathy Folks, but I am financially unable to purchace it right now because my wife is unable to work and hasn’t been approved for disability.

Now, I like to think I’m a generous guy, but I am unable to send a free copy of my book to everyone who asks for it. A little‑known fact about the publishing industry: The majority of authors actually have to pay for copies of their own book. It’s an interesting percent problem. I pay 50% of retail price plus shipping to purchase copies of my book, but I then receive a 15% royalty on the discounted price of every copy I purchase. (You can do the math to figure out how many books I could give away for free before going bankrupt.)

So I sent the following reply:

Send me your favorite joke(s), mathy or not, and I’ll send you a copy of the book.

My correspondent responded quickly with three jokes, two of which I had never heard before. A copy of my book is in the mail to him, and his jokes are pasted below for your reading pleasure.

What’s a seventh grader’s favorite excuse for not doing homework?
I have a solar‑powered calculator, but yesterday it was cloudy.

The student’s second semester seemed so much like her first that she hoped she could graduate sooner by combining like terms.

How is an indecisive third‑base coach like multiplying or dividing by a negative integer?
In both cases, the sign changes.

Incidentally, you can download one chapter of Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks for free by clicking the following button:

Pay with a Tweet

November 1, 2011 at 9:16 am Leave a comment

About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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