Posts tagged ‘off-color’

XXX Rated

Today is 10/10/10, which Julius Caesar and others might have written as X/X/X. In honor of the date, today’s post contains some XXX‑rated jokes. (Okay, not really. There is no pornography. But today’s jokes are slightly off‑color and probably not appropriate for the classroom. Then again, I know a high school teacher who used the following mnemonic to help students remember SOHCAHTOA: Sex Over Hot Coals Adds Heat To Ordinary Affection. So perhaps I don’t really know what is and isn’t classroom inappropriate.)

But before we get to the jokes, a math problem for you containing three 10’s. When the following expression is written in standard form, how many digits does it contain?


(By the way, for all you code geeks, that expression was done with straight HTML. No MathML required! It simply uses nested <sup> tags.)

 Okay, to the jokes…

How is sex like a fraction? It’s improper when the larger one is on top.

What is the square root of 69? Eight something.

What is 6.9? A good time interrupted by a period.

I was hanging out in an Internet cafe when my server went down on me.

Calculus teachers do it to the limit.
Statisticians probably do it.
Combinatorialists do it discretely.
Algebraists do it in groups.

No post about dirty math jokes would be complete without…

Speaking of integrals, here’s a half-assed integral:

And a slightly longer one…

The math professor explained to her students that there would be no acceptable excuse for missing the final exam. “Unless you or a loved one dies, I expect you to be here,” she told them. “No other excuse will suffice.”

“What about sexual exhaustion?” asked the class clown, which made several of the other students snicker.

“Sorry, Johnny,” the professor said. “You’ll just have to write with your other hand.”

Finally, I’ll leave you with my favorite dirty math problem, which I love mainly because of its subtlety:

A mother is 21 years older than her son. In 6 years, she will be 5 times as old as her son. Where is the father?

October 10, 2010 at 8:30 pm 12 comments

About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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