Math of the Irish

My friend and I were enjoying a pint of Guinness at a local Irish bar. The following sign hung overhead.

While enjoying the pint, another patron came up to me. “Quick!” he said. “Gimme a number!”

“What?” I asked.

“Gimme a number!” he repeated.

“Okay… 27?”

“27 × 2 = 54,” he said. He then turned to my friend. “Now you give me a number!” he demanded.

“Uh, 19,” my friend offered.

“19 × 2 = 38.”

He then made his way from table to table, each time asking for a number, then multiplying it by two. After completing an entire lap around the bar, he returned to our table. “Gimme a number,” he asked me again.

“Dude,” I said. “What’s up with you? Why do you keep asking people for numbers, then multiplying by two?”

“What can I say?” he said. “I love Dublin!”

Happy St. Patrick’s Day!

Best of ×, Worst of ×

The following is a very old joke:

“My life is all arithmetic,” the young businesswoman explained. “I try to add to my income, subtract from my weight, divide my time, and avoid multiplying.”

A similar joke, modified for current times, has been floating around Twitter.

Obama is great at math. He divides the country, subtracts jobs, adds debt and multiplies misery.

There are lots of math jokes that involve multiplication.

What tool is used most often in math class?
Multipliers.

Where do math teachers eat dinner?
At the times table.

Minister: Noah said, “Go forth and multiply!”
Congregant: What did he want the first, second and third to to — add, subtract, and divide?

Teacher: Why are you doing your multiplication problems on the floor?
Student: Because you told me not to use tables!

And finally a joke for the upcoming holiday…

If you multiply Santa Claus by i, does that make him real?