Posts tagged ‘love’
Valentine’s Day is almost here, but maybe you’ve been looking for love in all the wrong places. One possibility is to pop over to Wolfram Alpha and ask:
Or, with a little mathematical creativity, you might be able to find some over at Desmos:
Or perhaps you’ve already found a special someone. If so, you might want to tell her how beautiful she is, using this (paraphrased) mathematical gem from Woody Allen:
Your figure describes a set of parabolas that could cause cardiac arrest in a yak.
(No, it’s not sexist of me to imply that readers would have girlfriends. It’s just that a compliment about a paramour’s curves doesn’t work so well when directed at a male.)
Perhaps your special someone makes your heart skip a beat.
If so, this graph can help you get your beat back:
Wherever you look for love on this Feast of St. Valentine, I hope you find it — or at least stumble on a couple of great problems to distract you.
Of course, you could make a Magic Heart for your special someone. But if Arts ‘n Crafts aren’t your thing, just copy one of the following poems onto a blank card, and your sweetie will be swooning!
Roses are #FF0000,
Violets are #0000FF,
Hexadecimal is awesome,
And so are you!
Roses are #FF0000,
Leaves are #00C000,
We express colors
In powers of 16!
What’s that? You don’t speak RGB? Okay, then try this poem by Michael Stueben called Valentine:
You are the fairest of your sex,
Let me be your hero;
I love you as one over x,
as x approaches zero.
For my money, though, the best math love poem is “Square Root of Three” from Harold and Kumar Escape from Guantanamo Bay.
Maybe you’ve been together a long time, and you no longer need to woo your sweetie. In that case, just make him or her smile with this poem from John McClelland…
A lady of 80 named Gertie
Had a boyfriend of 60 named Bertie.
She told him emphatically
That viewed mathematically
By modulo 50, she’s 30.
Or perhaps you’ve just gotten out of a relationship and are currently single. Here’s a poem you can send to your ex.
Rose are red,
Violets are blue,
Our love is like a poem
That doesn’t rhyme.
Or maybe you really don’t feel like celebrating. You’ve been jilted, and you are officially anti‑Valentine’s Day. The following MJ4MF original poem might be more to your liking.
My belief in love was completely destroyed
The day you ripped out my cardioid.
Your actions and words never equated;
Your emotions, randomly generated.
Up and down again, like the curve of sine —
My screwed-up, degenerate Valentine.
So I’ll tell you abruptly, and this you can quote:
F**k this day, and kiss my asymptote!