## Posts tagged ‘exam’

### Preparing for Mid-Terms

The day before mid-term exams, the calculus professor allowed 10 minutes at the end of class for questions.

When one student asked the professor how many problems would be on the exam, the professor replied, “I think you will have a lot of problems on the exam.”

“Well, sir,” the student continued, “do you have any suggestions for what I can do to prepare?”

“Yes,” he said. “Just study the old exams. The mid-term exam will have the same types of problems, just the numbers will be different. But not all of the numbers will be different. Both π and e will be the same, of course, and there’s a reason it’s called Planck’s constant…”

Before dismissing the class, the professor warned that there would be no acceptable excuses for missing the exam.

Upon hearing this, the class clown said, “What about sexual exhaustion?”

“I’m sorry, Jason,” said the professor. “You’ll just have to write with your other hand.”

### The Cost of Good Grades

A quick joke that I just heard:

A math professor was giving an exam to his students. When the test ended, the students handed in their tests. The professor noticed that one of the students had attached a \$100 bill to his test with a note that read, “One dollar per point.”

The next class period, the professor returned the tests to students. The student got back his test — and \$64 change.

### One of My Favorite Stories

I heard a joke tonight about a slide rule that reminded me of my favorite story. First, the slide rule joke…

Several engineering students are taking a final. One of them is cheating and brought a slide rule to the exam.
“Hey,” the student next to him whispers. “Can you help me? What’s 3 × 6?”
The cheater reaches for his slide rule, and after a few seconds he replies, “19.”
“Are you sure?” asks the other.
The cheater again reaches for his slide rule, and after another few seconds he replies, “You’re right. It’s closer to 18… 18.3, to be precise.”

Yes, I know I’m dating myself by telling a slide rule joke. But honestly, I only know them from lore. I’ve seen them, and I understand how they work, but I’ve never actually used one for calculating.

Slide rules are a thing of the past, but math buffs have a fascination with them. One of my favorite stories is from Rick Wertheimer, perhaps the greatest math teacher ever from Pittsburgh. The following story, which may be apocryphal, is told exactly as I remember hearing it from Rick a decade-and-a-half ago.

Rick was getting a tour of a Hewlett-Packard facility. His guide shows him a room where there’s a bunch of old equipment — cathode ray tubes, punch cards, and lots of other outdated things. In one corner are two six-foot long slide rules that were designed for classroom use. Each has two hooks, and they were meant be hung at the top of the chalkboard for demonstration purposes — a teacher could use them to show students how the slides can be moved to perform calculations.

Rick says to his guide, “Can I have those?” After checking with some managers, the guide tells Rick that he can take them.

So, Rick takes both of them, one for his own collection, and one for his brother. On a trip to Washington, DC, he goes to his brother’s office at the Department of Defense, and on his shoulder he’s carrying the slide rule. As he walks in the door, the security guard stops him. Gruffly, the guard asks, “What’s that?”

“It’s a slide rule,” Rick says.

“Let me see it,” the guard says. When Rick hands it to him, the guard spends a few seconds inspecting it, and then starts moving the slides around.

Rick is a little puzzled by this. “What are you doing?” Rick finally asks.

And the guard says, “Clearing the data.”

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

## MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.