Posts tagged ‘cow’

No Bull — This is My New Favorite Fermi Question

It’s hard to say which emotion was strongest — awe, bewilderment, admiration, horror, fear — when I heard the following statistic:

McDonald’s sells 75 hamburgers every second.

McDonald's Logo

But I’m a math guy, so there’s no doubt where my mind turned after that emotion passed:

How many cows is that?

Have at it, internet.

What do you get when you divide the circumference of a bovine by its diameter?
Cow pi.

What is the favorite course at Bovine College?
Cowculus.

A mathematician counted 196 cows in the field. But when he rounded them up, he got 200.

 

November 6, 2018 at 10:29 pm 4 comments

Cows and Probability

Bert Tolkamp et al. were awarded an Ig Nobel Prize for answering a question that has long been on the minds of readers of this blog, and likely on the minds of the populace at large:

Are cows more likely to lie down the longer they stand?

I mean, seriously, how many nights have you lain awake pondering that question?

Their research revealed two startling facts:

  • The longer a cow has been lying down, the more likely that the cow will soon stand up.
  • Once a cow stands up, it’s impossible to predict how long until that cow lies down again.

Fascinating.

I, for one, will rest easier knowing that these questions have finally been answered.

If you suffer from insomnia, the full article may be more valuable than Unisom, chamomile tea, or counting sheep.

You have to wonder if the researchers used a cow-culator to calculate the probabilities. Or perhaps that had to rely on techniques from advanced cow-culus.

Why do milking stools only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder!

What do Greek cows say?
μ.

What do you call a male cow that swallows a hand grenade?
Abominable.

What do you call the same cow 5 seconds later?
Noble.

Here are some other mathy cow jokes I’ve posted in the past.

May 3, 2014 at 10:39 pm Leave a comment

10 Cow Jokes (Some Mathy)

Driving through Paris (Virginia, not France) on Saturday, we passed a field of grazing cows. I asked the boys, “What do you think a French cow says?”

Eli said, “Moo-la-la!

Funniest. Kid. Ever.

Perhaps because I grew up in rural Pennsylvania, I’ve always had a bovine fascination. I envy their laissez-faire existence. What I wouldn’t give for a life where I could roam freely, eat when I wanted to, lie around listlessly in the sun, and defecate whenever and wherever the urge strikes. The only aspect of their existence that I don’t envy is the end-of-life trip to the grocery store on Styrofoam plates wrapped in cellophane.

The following are some pseudo-mathy cow jokes.

What does a Greek cow say?
Mu.

What is a cow’s favorite subject?
Cowculus.

What does a cow use to compute?
A cowculator.

Why does a milking stool only have three legs?
Because the cow has the udder.

What do you call a cow with two legs?
Lean beef.

What do you call a cow with one leg?
Steak.

What do you call a cow with no legs?
Ground beef.

And here are some cow jokes that aren’t mathy at all.

What did one cow say to the other?
Moo. (D’uh!)

Two cows were out in a field. One turns to the other and says, “Moooooo!”
“That’s funny,” says the other. “I was just about to say the same thing!”
The first one says, “Holy cow! A talking cow!”

October 24, 2013 at 11:11 am 1 comment


About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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