## Posts tagged ‘career’

### So Teach Your Children Math…

According to CareerCast, three of the four best jobs in 2014 are in STEM fields: mathematician, statistician, and actuary. And the other — tenured university professor — might very well be a STEM career, too.

The worst job? Lumberjack, with a median annual salary of $24,000, a bad work environment, high stress, and a dismal hiring outlook.

Even though they’re on opposite ends of the best job spectrum, math folks and loggers have a lot in common. Both appreciate natural logs.

I learned this at http://www.lumberjack.com, which has a few interesting tidbits. But not enough to keep me interested, so I logged out.

And we all know that the grass is always greener, which is why some mathematicians opt for a life in the forest…

A math professor had enough of academic life, so he decided to become a lumberjack. He was hired by a logging firm, and he was told that he’d need to cut down 50 trees a day. On his first day, he was handed a chainsaw, and he went into the forest. When he returned to the office at the end of the first day, the foreman asked him, “So, how many trees did you cut down today?”

“Six,” replied the mathematician.

“That’s not enough,” said the foreman. “You’ll have to do better. Get up earlier tomorrow.” So he did, and again he went into the forest with a chainsaw. He returned at the end of the day, sweaty and exhausted. “How many’d you get today?” the foreman asked.

“Twelve,” replied the mathematician.

So the next day, the foreman went out to the forest with the mathematician. He started the chainsaw, started to cut, and explained to the mathematician what he was doing. When he finished, he said, “And that’s how you cut down a tree. Any questions?”

“Yeah,” said the mathematician. “What the hell was all that noise coming from the chainsaw?”

### Career Changes

When I give math joke presentations, I bombard the audience with several groan‑inducing puns. When they can take no more, I admit to them that (a) stand‑up comedy is NOT my full-time job and (b) I am not considering a career change. This admission usually provokes a collective sigh of relief from the audience.

I inform them, however, that I have several friends who recently changed careers.

I have a friend who used to be a statistician.

Now she’s a gynecologist.

Her specialty is histerectograms.I have a friend who used to be a combinatorist.

Now she is a hairdresser.

She works with combs and perms.I have a friend who used to be a high school math teacher.

Now he’s a densist.

He performs square root canals.I have a friend who used to be a geometer.

Now he’s a taxidermist.

His specialty is Fourier (furrier) transforms.I know a former inmate.

He became a poet.

Now he writes converse.I have a friend who used to be a transformational geometer.

Now he polishes mirrors.

He specializes in reflections.

As you might well imagine, telling an audience about these career‑changing friends usually elicits more groans. Go figure.

I particularly like this joke format, so I’ll offer a challenge to you: Create a joke about a career-changing professional. Feel free to use the form below, use this Google Docs form, or place your joke in the Comments.