I’m Playing Baaas-Ket-Baaall
I recently had a meeting at the National Basketball Association (NBA) offices in New York City. I had gotten very excited about this meeting, thinking maybe I’d bump into Lebron or Kobe or Shaq or Dr. J or Jerry West or David Stern. (It could happen, ya know. Not so long ago, I bumped into Brooke Shields while attending a meeting for MoMath. All things are possible in NYC.)
But irony of ironies… when I arrived, I met no one famous; rather, one of the NBA staffers wanted to meet me because Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is his mom’s coffee table book. She’s a retired chemical-cum-mechanical engineer, so geeky jokes are her ilk.
Three engineers are arguing about God’s profession.
The first says, “God has to be a mechanical engineer. Look at the design of the joints and muscles.”
“No, no,” said the second. “Look at the central nervous system. All that wiring? Surely, God is an electrical engineer.”
“I think you’re both wrong,” said the third. “He’s got to be a civil engineer. Who else would put a waste management facility in the middle of a recreation area?”
Now, I know that this story likely sounds like an elaborate set-up.
Yo momma is so dorky, she reads Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks.
Well, it’s not. All of this is true.
The wonderful young man who wanted to meet me was Daniel Feinberg. I asked about his mother’s favorite joke from Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks, and he told me it was this one (which is sometimes known as the Pizza Theorem):
Via email, Daniel told me:
It’s funny, because she [Daniel’s mom] hadn’t taken a look at the book in some time, and when I asked her for her favorite joke, she got sucked into reading the entire thing — again.
Now that’s a nice compliment.
Daniel isn’t an engineer or even a math guy. He loves golf, though, and his favorite joke from Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is:
A pastor, a doctor, and a mathematician were stuck behind a slow foursome while playing golf. The greenskeeper noticed their frustration and explained to them, “The slow group ahead of you is a bunch of blind firemen. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free.”
The pastor responded, “That’s terrible! I’ll say a prayer for them.”
The doctor said, “I’ll contact my ophthalmologist friends and see if there isn’t something that can be done.”
And the mathematician asked, “Why can’t these guys play at night?”
I’d like to thank Daniel and his mom for their continued support. Hearing that MJ4MF made even one person smile is enough to think that it was worth writing.
Before you go, here are some basketball-related math jokes. Or maybe they’re math-related basketball jokes. Whatever. Enjoy.
What do basketball players call the last occurrence of the function that gives the greatest integer less than or equal to x?
The Final Floor.
What do athletes playing basketball and students taking a math test have in common?
They both dribble.
What’s the difference between the Knicks and a dollar bill?
You can get four quarters from a dollar bill.
Okay, maybe that last one isn’t very mathy, so here’s a mathy quote from basketball commentator and former coach Doug Collins:
Any time Detroit scores more than 100 points and holds the other team below 100 points, they almost always win.