13 Math Jokes that are PG-13 (or Worse)

June 13, 2014 at 1:13 pm Leave a comment

Triskaidekaphobia is an abnormal fear of the number 13. If you suffer from this ailment, then you might want to stop reading now.

Today is the only Friday the 13th that will occur in 2014. Which makes it a good day for some trivia questions.

  • Is there at least one Friday the 13th every year? If so, prove it. If not, provide a counterexample.
  • What is the maximum number of times that Friday the 13th can occur in a (calendar) year?
  • What is the average number of times that Friday the 13th occurs in a year?

You can check out my previous post Good Luck on Friday the 13th to find the answers to those questions.

This is also a good day for some off-color math jokes. Then again, is there a bad day for off-color math jokes?

Why is 1 the biggest slut?
It goes into everything.

What has six balls and abuses the poor?
The lottery.

Math is a collection of cheap tricks and dirty jokes.

What do calculus and my penis have in common?
Both are hard for you.

Old statisticians never die.
They just get broken down by age and sex.

Algebraists do it in fields.
Or do they do it in groups?

What do you call an excited quadrilateral?
An erectangle.

What covers the genitalia of a hexahedron?
Cubic hair.

A knight with a 20-inch penis told a wizard that he wanted a smaller penis. The wizard told him to propose marriage to an enchanted princess. He did, and the princess said, “No.” His penis instantly shrunk to 16 inches. Happy with this result, he asked her again. Again she said, “No,” and his penis shrunk to 12 inches. He realized that each time she said, “No,” his penis shrunk by 4 inches. So he asked one last time. “How many times do I have to refuse you?” she asked. “No! No! No!”

How is math like sex?
I don’t get either one.

How is sex like fractions?
It’s improper for the larger one to be on top.

Why did you break up with that math student?
I caught her in bed, wrestling with three unknowns.

13 is the square root of 169. What is the square root of 69?
Ate something.

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2 Truths and a Lie (Mathematician Version) Pearls of Wisdom

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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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