Excuses Are Like Graphing Calculators…
You may have noticed that there haven’t been very many new posts on this blog recently. I apologize for that. The following flowchart — an idea blatantly stolen from Brewster Rocket — provides my excuse.
Since starting a new job in March, I’ve been working 60-80 hours per week. I’m also serving as the chair of the MathCounts Question Writing Committee. Mix in the time demanded by two energetic, six-year-old boys, and, well, that doesn’t leave a lot of time for making math people laugh on the Internet. Don’t get me wrong — I’ve been funny as hell the past six months, both creating and delivering amazing one-liners. I just haven’t had time to type them up for all of you.
Not that you care about any of that. You come here for jokes, not excuses.
Here’s one about work:
The scientist asks, “Why does it work?”
The engineer asks, “How does it work?”
The project manager asks, “How much will it cost?”
The novelist asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
And here are 11 excuses I could have used, but didn’t:
- I created a great joke but then divided by zero, and the joke burst into flames.
- It’s Isaac Newton’s birthday.
- I could only get arbitrarily close to my computer. I couldn’t actually reach it.
- I had a really funny joke to share, but this blog is too narrow to contain it.
- I was watching the World Series and got tied up trying to prove that it converged.
- I have a solar-powered laptop, and it was cloudy.
- I wrote some jokes in a notebook and locked them in my trunk, but a four-dimensional dog got in and ate it.
- I was typing up some jokes when my wife brought me a doughnut and a cup of coffee. I spent the rest of the night trying to figure out which was which.
- I put some jokes in a Klein bottle, but then I couldn’t find them.
- I was too busy celebrating the coincidence of Einstein’s birthday and Pi Day.
- I was contemplating a formula for Phi Day, determining the first Friday the 13th in 2013, and wondering why Tau Day isn’t more popular than Pi Day.