## Best Math Joke Ever?

If you do a search for “best math joke ever,” you’ll see that there is widespread disagreement. The following are some of what you’ll find.

The folks at Physics Forums like this one:

How does a mathematician deal with constipation?
He works it out with a pencil.

Sadly, the site failed to include this follow-up joke.

What kind of pencil?
A #2 pencil, of course.

Some folks at Yahoo Answers like this one:

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a drink. The second one  orders half a drink. The third orders 1/4 drink. The fourth orders 1/8 drink, and so on. The bartender, a little overwhelmed, asks the mathematicians, “Hey, you guys sure you want to do this? Isn’t that a bit much?” The mathematicians reply, “Oh, don’t worry… we know our limits.”

From Mormon MD:

And the good folks at Blue Donut have taken the list of 100 funniest jokes of all-time — as compiled by GQ — and allow visitors to vote on them. Sadly, most of them aren’t mathy, but this one from A. Whitney Brown is.

China has a population of a billion people. One billion! That means even if you’re a one in a million kind of guy, there are still a thousand others exactly like you.

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• 1. xander  |  June 26, 2013 at 12:00 pm

I will almost certainly maintain until I die that the greatest math joke is as follows:

Q: What do you get when you cross a mosquito and a mountain climber?
A: You can’t. One is a vector, and the other a scalar.

• 2. venneblock  |  June 26, 2013 at 3:17 pm

It’s one of my favorites, too, so I won’t strongly object. But you’ve got to set it up with:

What do you get when you cross an elephant and a banana?
Elephant banana sine theta.

• 3. xander  |  June 26, 2013 at 3:23 pm

I normally set it up with “What do you get when you cross a chicken and a turkey?” Given the large number of elephant jokes I know, perhaps I will have to reconsider…

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

## MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.