Math Tom Swifties

December 7, 2012 at 3:02 am 4 comments

Although my favorite Tom Swifty isn’t mathematical…

“I dropped my toothpaste,” Tom said crestfallen.

…there are plenty of Tom Swifties that are:

“Simple… closed Curves,” Tom replied when asked about the small loops with no endpoints that he had drawn around each of the health clubs on the map.

That one is an MJ4MF original. The rest of these were gathered from the farthest recesses of the Web, though you might think it would have been better for me to leave them there…

“From time to time, I like to draw a sine curve,” Tom said periodically.

“That’s a terrible drawing of a cardioid,” Tom said heartlessly.

“Your performance was average,” Tom said meanly.

“It’s six of one, a half dozen of the other,” Tom said symmetrically.

“Those numbers have no factors in common,” Tom said distinctly.

“Take the set of all positive integers,” Tom whispered discretely.

“Less than zero,” Tom said negatively.

“The cube measures 12’ along each edge,” Tom said with a lot of volume.

“The sum will increase,” Tom added.

“I like numbers of the form 2k + 1,” Tom said oddly.

“Stand in line from shortest to tallest,” Tom ordered.

“It’s the product of rate and time,” Tom said distantly.

“One is a mirror image of the other,” Tom reflected.

“1.11111…,” Tom said repeatedly.

“I love three-dimensional shapes,” Tom said solidly.

“The factors of 6 have a sum of 6,” Tom said perfectly.

“The primes continue without end,” Tom stated with infinite wisdom.

“Three-halves,” Tom said improperly.

“I can’t believe I lost the election,” Tom recounted.

“Two and two do not make five,” Tom said nonplussed.

“Thirty degrees,” Tom said acutely.

“That’s a large angle,” Tom said obtusely.

“There is only one,” Tom said uniquely.

“It’s the quotient of two integers,” Tom said rationally.

“I now understand Newton’s Second Law,” Tom said forcefully.

“Approximately 2.71828182,” Tom said naturally.

“I don’t like groups, rings, or fields,” Tom said abstractly.

“I have to check the score on this exam again,” Tom remarked.

“The concavity changes here,” Tom said with inflection.

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Kermit These Jokes to Memory The Twelve Days of Crisp Math – Day 1

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. xhenderson  |  December 7, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Two of my favorite things! Tom Swifties AND mathematics! Whee! 😀

  • 2. Stoofus  |  December 23, 2012 at 4:51 pm

    x2 + y2 = 1… or 2… or 3…,” Tom said with several ellipses.

    • 3. venneblock  |  December 23, 2012 at 11:32 pm

      Brilliant! I love it.

  • 4. The Year in Review – MJ4MF 2012 « Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks  |  December 30, 2012 at 11:35 pm

    […] what it’s worth, I think my best posts this year were 12 Math Knock-Knock Jokes and Math Tom Swifties. But what do I […]


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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

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Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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December 2012

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