Jokes from The Math Factory

Thanks to Michael Weber for this submission:

Some of the new factory workers complained that they wanted bigger paychecks, just like the ones that the experienced workers get. “I can assure you,” said the foremen, “that their checks are no bigger than yours. All checks are 3.667 in. by 8.500 in.”

For the world’s best (and by best, I mean most ubiquitous) math joke about checks, see Randall Munroe’s check made out to Verizon Communications. (Is there any math geek who hasn’t seen this?)

Not mathy, but about factories and worth sharing…

What do you call a group of factory bosses who drink Tab^® cola
and eat crab apples?
The foremen Tab and apple choir.

And since institutions of higher learning can be somewhat factory-like at times, here’s one that resonates with me.

Two grad students have been working on the same problem for weeks. “I just can’t take it anymore,” says Wesley. “I need a day off.”

“But the professor will never let you leave,” says Lesley.

“Sure he will,” says Wesley. “Watch this.”

He jumps up and hangs from a pipe near the ceiling. The professor walks in and asks, “What are you doing?”

“I’m a light bulb,” says Wesley.

“You’ve been working too hard,” says the professor. “You’ve gone crazy, and you need a day off. Go home.”

Wesley starts to leave. Lesley starts to follow him. “Lesley, where do you think you’re going?” the professor asks.

“I’m going home, too,” she says. “I can’t work in the dark!”