Bad Joke Tolerance Test

August 6, 2012 at 11:49 am 6 comments

This is a tolerance test. (If, upon hearing that, you thought, “Mine is about ±3%,” then you will probably do fairly well.) How many of the following bad jokes can you endure? If you…

  • Have to close your browser after just one? You need some training. Read Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks.
  • Run from the room, shrieking, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” after just five? You, too, can be a bad joke survivor. Come back to this page every day for a week, and try to read just four jokes each day. Together, we’ll get through this.
  • Make it halfway? Good effort. Many great men turned back sooner.
  • Get through this entire list without groaning once? You, my friend, are a rock. The Army could use someone with your ability to tolerate pain.

Did you hear about the beautiful, cross-eyed math teacher who lost her job?
She was easy on the eyes, but she couldn’t control her pupils.

When chemists die, they barium.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I don’t enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

Accountants watch their figures.

A math professor in an unheated room is cold and calculating.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of
your action.

Mathematicians die when their number is up.

A gram cracker is a metric cookie.

Ten math puns appeared above, in the hopes that one would make you laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.

Is ln(i) an imaginary lumber?

The volume of a robot character in Star Wars is V = r2d2.

There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.

Pentagon. Hexagon. Oregon.

Sorry, it’s true: i > u.

General Calculus is able to differentiate between his friends and enemies.

You can miss one math class, you can miss another… but after a while, it’ll start to add up.

i2, just keepin’ it real.

The international student was unfamiliar with algebra, so when asked
what 2n + 2n was, he replied, “It’s 4n to me.”

Two feuding math families were at odds over evens.

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Golf Is a Good Walk Ruined Southpaw Summations

6 Comments Add your own

  • 1. Guillermo Bautista  |  August 6, 2012 at 6:17 pm

    Hahaha… This made me laugh. Especially the mathematician dying.

    • 2. venneblock  |  August 6, 2012 at 10:08 pm

      Then I’ve got a whole slew of ones you might enjoy…
      Old mathematicians never die, they just lose some of their functions.
      Old statisticians never die, they just get broken down by age and sex.
      Old calculus teachers never die, they just tend toward infinity.
      Old algebraists never die, they just pass into another field.
      Old number theorists never die, they just become irrational.
      Old geometers never die, they just go off on a tangent.
      Old calc teachers never die, they just disintegrate.

  • 3. mister  |  August 7, 2012 at 9:00 pm

    Oregon does not rhyme with any n-gons! Wait, is that the joke?

    • 4. venneblock  |  August 8, 2012 at 12:17 pm

      Yup. The n-gons have the format __-uh-gonn, and Oregon fits that format.

  • 5. themathpass  |  August 8, 2012 at 10:48 am

    What if you made it through the whole list AND managed to laugh at at least three of the jokes? Funny! 🙂

    • 6. venneblock  |  August 8, 2012 at 12:16 pm

      No need to define this — you are in a class all by yourself!

      Bonus points for using “at” twice in succession!


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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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August 2012

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