Bad Joke Tolerance Test

This is a tolerance test. (If, upon hearing that, you thought, “Mine is about ±3%,” then you will probably do fairly well.) How many of the following bad jokes can you endure? If you…

• Have to close your browser after just one? You need some training. Read Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks.
• Run from the room, shrieking, “Make it stop! Make it stop!” after just five? You, too, can be a bad joke survivor. Come back to this page every day for a week, and try to read just four jokes each day. Together, we’ll get through this.
• Make it halfway? Good effort. Many great men turned back sooner.
• Get through this entire list without groaning once? You, my friend, are a rock. The Army could use someone with your ability to tolerate pain.

Did you hear about the beautiful, cross-eyed math teacher who lost her job?
She was easy on the eyes, but she couldn’t control her pupils.

When chemists die, they barium.

I’m reading a book about anti-gravity. I can’t put it down.

A dyslexic man walks into a bra.

I don’t enjoy computer jokes. Not one bit.

Accountants watch their figures.

A math professor in an unheated room is cold and calculating.

The probability of someone watching you is proportional to the stupidity of
your action.

Mathematicians die when their number is up.

A gram cracker is a metric cookie.

Ten math puns appeared above, in the hopes that one would make you laugh.
Sadly, no pun in ten did.

Is ln(i) an imaginary lumber?

The volume of a robot character in Star Wars is V = r²d².

There is a fine line between numerator and denominator.

Pentagon. Hexagon. Oregon.

Sorry, it’s true: i > u.

General Calculus is able to differentiate between his friends and enemies.

You can miss one math class, you can miss another… but after a while, it’ll start to add up.

i², just keepin’ it real.

The international student was unfamiliar with algebra, so when asked
what 2n + 2n was, he replied, “It’s 4n to me.”

Two feuding math families were at odds over evens.