10 Jokes for an Ordinally Day
Ten of my favorite jokes, in order. Sort of.
A mathematician calls the hospital and says, “My wife is in labor! What should I do?”
“Calm down,” the nurse tells him. “Is this her first child?”
“No,” the man replies. “This is her husband.”
Did you hear about the hungry clock?
It goes back four seconds.
Three mathematicians walk into a bar. You’d think the third one would have ducked.
First, second, third… and so fourth.
Wherever there are four mathematicians, you’ll usually find a fifth.
Thank you for calling Sixth Sense Analytics. We are unable to answer your call at this time, but we already know who you are, what you want, and where you live, so please hang up at the beep.
The topologist said, “If I had known that I’d feel this full after all those doughnuts, I would have eaten the seventh one first.”
Your mama’s so fat, she could be the eighth continent.
Several bass violinists had too much wine before their performance of Beethoven’s masterpiece. They performed reasonably well through most of the piece, but near the end, they began to miss some notes. The conductor lamented, “It’s the bottom of the Ninth, and the bassists are loaded.”
A minister told his congregation, “I know it’s difficult to tithe, but don’t worry. If you can’t afford to give a tenth of your salary to the church, then just give a ninth or even an eighth.”