4 Math Jokes for Valentine’s Day

[Ed. Note: Yes, I know it’s only Lincoln’s Birthday and not Valentine’s Day yet. Just wanted you to have time to practice telling these jokes to your mirror before the big day. There will be more V-Day humor shared on the 14th.]

Let’s start with one of the coolest pictures I’ve ever seen. I found it at the Math Fail blog, but I am not certain that Math Fail deserves credit for it. Whatever. Enjoy.

And from a demotivational poster comes the following:

VALENTINE’S DAY
Because relationships aren’t hard enough already.

Here are the four jokes that the title promises.

The frequency of our dating would amplify if you’d be my valentine.

I received a B- on my math mid-term. Thinking that my professor might be willing to negotiate since it was close to Valentine’s Day, I gave her a box of chocolates with the inscription “BE MINE.” The next class, I received a valentine from my professor that read, “Happy Valentine’s Day to you, too, but it’s still a BE MINE-US.” [Adapted from a story in Reader’s Digest]

An electron is courting an atom and keeps flying around it to get its attention. The atom finally asks, “Why do you keep running circles around me?” The electron replies, “I can’t help it. I’m strangely attracted to you.”

A math student is having dinner alone at his favorite restaurant on Valentine’s Day. The place is filled with happy couples, but an attractive young woman is sitting alone at a table across the room. He finally musters his courage and approaches her. “Mind if I join you?” he asks.

“Of course I won’t sleep with you! I don’t even know you!” she screams.

Confused, he slinks back to his table. The woman comes over a few minutes later. “I’m sorry if I embarassed you,” she says. “I’m a psychology student, and I’m studying how people react to embarassing situations.”

“Oh, no problem,” he says. Then at the top of his lungs, he yells, “What do you mean, $300?”