Math Jokes for National Sleep Day

January 3, 2012 at 7:30 am Leave a comment

If you like sleep, boy, have we got some holidays for you.

Today is National Sleep Day. eHow.com has a list of things to do today, and the first thing on their list — shocker! — is sleep. (Okay, technically they list “sleep in,” but doesn’t that seem obvious for this particular holiday?)

In the U.S., February 19 is National Sleep In Day; in Britain, it’s October 31. One blogger declared that May 11 should be National Sleep Naked Day.

March 3-9, 2012, is National Sleep Awareness Week, which occurs annually the week before the change to Daylight Savings Time.

And if you’re one of those folks who really likes to extend your holidays, you don’t need to limit your love of sleep to just one day or even a week. November is National Sleep Comfort Month, and May has been dubbed National Sleep Better Month.

Holy criminy! Is all of this really necessary? Luckily, mathy folks really like to sleep.

What do mathematicians sleep on?
Matrices.

Mathy folks also appreciate that others need sleep, too.

A math teacher is someone who talks in someone else’s sleep.

Married mathy folks have a keen awareness of how much sleep they need.

A single mathematician was asked, “If you go to bed eight hours before you have to wake up, and your girlfriend wants to have two hours of sex, how much sleep will you get?” He answered, “6 hours.”

When a married mathematician was asked the same question about having two hours of sex with his wife, he responded, “7 hours, 57 minutes. Why does it matter what she wants?”

Finally, a joke about the other meaning of the word sleep.

Wife: “If I died, would you get married again?”
Mathematician: “No.”
Wife: “Why not? Don’t you like being married?”
Mathematician: “Of course, I do.”
Wife: “Then why wouldn’t you remarry?”
Mathematician: “Fine, I’ll remarry.”
Wife: “You would?”
Mathematician: (groan)
Wife: “Would you live in our house, too?”
Mathematician: “Sure, it’s a great house.”
Wife: “Would you sleep with her in our bed?”
Mathematician: “Where else would we sleep?”
Wife: “Would you let her drive my car?”
Mathematician: “Probably. It’s brand new.”
Wife: “And would you let her use my golf clubs?”
Mathematician: “No, she’s left-handed…”

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2011 in Review Dave is a Four-Letter Word

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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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