144 Gross Jokes
But one guy really liked it. “Your jokes are funny,” he said, “though I don’t think my wife would like your humor. How many off-color jokes do you know?”
“I have a collection of 144 gross jokes,” I told him.
“Wow!” he said. “How did you find the time to collect 20,736 jokes?”
Sorry. Just seems like 12/12 is a good day to be making such jokes.
The word dozen comes from the Old English word doziene, which comes from the Old French word dozaine, which is a derivative of the Latin word duodecim (duo = two, decim = ten).
Warning! Off-color joke approaching!
A man calls his friend and asks, “What has a two-inch penis and hangs down?”
“I dunno,” says his friend.
“A bat,” says the man. “Now, what has a twelve-inch penis and hangs up?”
“I dunno,” says the friend.
The following is a list of my favorite things that come in groups of 12.
- Signs of the Chinese Zodiac — what’s not to love with dragons, roosters, and pigs?
- Angry Men — sure, it’s a little sexist with an all-male cast, but three of those males were Jack Klugman, Ed Begley and Henry Fonda, and it’s ranked #6 in the IMDB Top 250.
- Donuts — mmm, donuts…
- Eggs — can’t really have a list of dozens that doesn’t include eggs, right?
- Inches in a Foot — how many inches in a nose?
- Labours of Hercules — though I can’t decide which was the best, cleaning shit out of stables or stealing a belt from a woman.
- Players on a Canadian Football Team — in the U.S., it’s 11 players on a 100-yard field; in Canada, it’s 12 players and a 110-yard field; the next country to don a football league must have 13 players on a 120-yard field, to follow the little known but never broken n + 1 players on a 10n-yard field edict.
- Ounces in a Troy Pound — because, really, who needs Avoirdupois?
- Function Keys on a PC Keyboard — F7 is the most-used function key on my laptop, since Shift-F7 lets me synonym search in Word.
- Roses — red if you’re nice, black if you’re naughty.
- Face Cards in a Deck — jacks, queens, and kings.
- Keys on a Phone Keypad — yet only eight have letters associated with them… weird.