A Math Geek Gives Thanks

My life is pretty good. I mean, sure, I wish I were better at Scrabble^®, or a little smarter, or a little faster, or a lot better looking. But don’t we all? Overall, I really can’t complain.

For instance, I get to write a blog about math jokes, I get to do math every day for a living, and I know that the proper amount of time t, in minutes, to cook a turkey is given by the formula t = 38 × w^2/3, where w is the weight of the turkey in pounds. And all of that is pretty cool.

I’ve not been as happy lately as I probably should be. Thanksgiving seems like the right day to reverse that pattern and recount all the things in life for which a math geek like I should be grateful. Feel free to let me know what you’re grateful for, too.

• For twin sons who love math almost as much as their daddy
• For my sons getting so excited that they speak faster than I can possibly understand (especially when they’re excited about math)
• For a wife who’s willing to tolerate a schlub like me, and who makes it very easy to keep loving her
• For grocery store tiles of the perfect size, so that your natural stride length perfectly aligns with light and dark squares
• For the wonderful safety of numbers
• For getting lost in a challenging problem
• For going to bed with a challenging problem, and waking up with the solution
• For MathWorld
• For cheesy math jokes
• For people who appreciate cheesy math jokes
• For good health
• For Nurikabe
• For friends who know what a scoober, a thumber and a blade are
• For Excel^®
• For all of the amazing people at Penn State who are not currently garnering headlines but are doing wonderful things for society
• For eyesight, to see the mathematical beauty in the world
• For teachers, and for anyone else who is willing to share their knowledge
• For disappointment, which reminds me to appreciate all the good things that I already have in my life
• For cell phones and free long distance
• For serendipitously changing the channel to a football game with five minutes left when Tim Tebow has the ball
• For zizzes, and for the word zizz
• For Scrabble^® (and more recently Words with Friends)
• For finding a parking spot with time still left on the meter
• For placing the last piece of a puzzle
• For having a really great original idea
• For friends who save me six seconds by pulling a beer out of the cooler and tossing it to me rather than walking over and handing it to me; and, for friends who trust that I’ll catch it
• For clever food names, like the “Muddy Pig” (mini-donut with Nutella and bacon crumbles) at Union Jack Pub in Harrisonburg, VA, or “Devils on Horseback” (chutney-stuffed dates wrapped in bacon)
• For ordering a beer you’ve never heard of, and finding that it’s your new DOC (drink of choice)
• For usually making good decisions
• For having things happen that aren’t all that bad when I’ve made poor decisions