Actuary, I Rather Like Professionals Who Analyze Insurance Statistics
Some folks say that an actuary is a math guy who doesn’t have the personality to be an accountant. Others say that an actuary is an accountant who doesn’t know how to golf. Still others think that an actuary is a place where dead actors are buried.
Some really mean people say that a computer is an actuary with a heart. (But not I. I am slightly deviant and certainly insignificant, but I am not mean.)
After spending some time as a stay-at-home dad with his son, my neighbor Mark is returning to work as a consulting actuary.
A consulting actuary is someone who, when asked what time it is, tells you how to build a watch.
Talking about his new job at a recent party, Mark was interrupted by one of the other attendees who said he knew a joke about actuaries.
Did you hear about the constipated actuary?
He worked it out with a slide rule.
I prefer a different version of that joke, mostly because it allows for a follow-up, but also because I can’t imagine the discomfort that would result from using a slide rule.
Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.
What kind of a pencil?
A number 2 pencil, of course.
I recently discovered a modification of one of my favorite jokes. Though the modification doesn’t have to involve actuaries, the version I heard did.
There are 11 kinds of actuaries in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.
Finally, what humorous math post would be complete without a joke involving three dudes?
An actuary, an underwriter, and an insurance salesperson are riding in a car. The salesperson has his foot on the gas, the underwriter has his foot on the brake, and the actuary is looking out the back window telling them where to go.