Places You Wouldn’t Want to Live on Valentine’s Day

February 14, 2011 at 12:01 am 4 comments

Be thankful that you don’t live in the Gem State today:

Idaho law makes it illegal to give your sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.

That’s a direct quote from You Can’t Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little-Known Laws, a book by Barbara Seuling, originally published in 1975. The book is now out-of-print, but I was able to find it at a local used bookstore.

I never verified that the Idaho law is still on the books. My rationale — who cares if it’s still in effect? The fact that it was ever a public law is satisfying enough for me. Turns out, there are other places where it would be bad to live on Valentine’s Day. Maryland law puts a time limit on affection:

A kiss can last no longer than one second in Halethorpe, Maryland.

And shaving is an apparent necessity for every romantic Hoosier:

In Indiana, a mustache is illegal on anyone who “habitually kisses human beings.”

(As best I can tell, there is no law against sporting a ‘stache if you habitually kiss other species.)

It’s good that those three laws were not intended for the same locale. Can you imagine having to shave and then lug a 50-pound box of chocolate to your sweetheart’s, just for a peck on the cheek that lasts less than a second? No, thank you.

Mathy folks are often accused of being less romantic than the average person, but I don’t think that’s true. Case in point — I once knew a mathematician who loved his wife so much that he almost told her!

My college roommate was a set theorist. On Valentine’s Day, he gave his girlfriend the following note:

I ∈ U

She was an engineering major and knew a fair amount of math, but he had to translate for her: “I belong to U.”

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Mean and Standard Deviation I Like My Women Like I Like My Math

4 Comments Add your own

  • 1. xander  |  February 14, 2011 at 12:18 am

    In a similar vein, solve for i:

    -3i>9u.

    xander

    Reply
    • 2. venneblock  |  February 19, 2011 at 12:25 am

      Aw, that’s sweet, Xander. I heart you, too.

      Which reminds me, NCTM is about to release some “I heart math” posters. They take the format “I heart ___” and the blank is filled with a math term such as Fibonacci numbers, hyperbolic curves, etc. The poster is white, but there is a very colorful picture that exemplifies the math concept (e.g., on the poster for hyperbolic curve, there is a picture of a suspension bridge). They’re rather nice, and they may cool classroom discussion starters. Sorry, I don’t mean to sound like an ad… just thought I’d tell you about a resource that’s coming.

      Reply
  • 3. Mike  |  February 14, 2011 at 1:09 am

    A friend of mine recently came up with a pretty retarded (but we thought quite funny) joke:

    – What’s complete, normed, yellow and curved?
    – The Bananach-Space

    Reply
    • 4. venneblock  |  February 14, 2011 at 3:39 am

      Thanks for sharing! It’s funny, but not original. First time I heard it was about a decade ago, and I’m sure I didn’t hear it from the originator.

      Reply

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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

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Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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