Places You Wouldn’t Want to Live on Valentine’s Day
Be thankful that you don’t live in the Gem State today:
Idaho law makes it illegal to give your sweetheart a box of candy weighing less than fifty pounds.
That’s a direct quote from You Can’t Eat Peanuts in Church and Other Little-Known Laws, a book by Barbara Seuling, originally published in 1975. The book is now out-of-print, but I was able to find it at a local used bookstore.
I never verified that the Idaho law is still on the books. My rationale — who cares if it’s still in effect? The fact that it was ever a public law is satisfying enough for me. Turns out, there are other places where it would be bad to live on Valentine’s Day. Maryland law puts a time limit on affection:
A kiss can last no longer than one second in Halethorpe, Maryland.
And shaving is an apparent necessity for every romantic Hoosier:
In Indiana, a mustache is illegal on anyone who “habitually kisses human beings.”
(As best I can tell, there is no law against sporting a ‘stache if you habitually kiss other species.)
It’s good that those three laws were not intended for the same locale. Can you imagine having to shave and then lug a 50-pound box of chocolate to your sweetheart’s, just for a peck on the cheek that lasts less than a second? No, thank you.
Mathy folks are often accused of being less romantic than the average person, but I don’t think that’s true. Case in point — I once knew a mathematician who loved his wife so much that he almost told her!
My college roommate was a set theorist. On Valentine’s Day, he gave his girlfriend the following note:
I ∈ U
She was an engineering major and knew a fair amount of math, but he had to translate for her: “I belong to U.”