Thanksgiving Jokes

So, maybe they’re not mathy… but the following jokes are appropriate for today…

The young turkey graduated high honors with a math degree, but he returned home and seemed reluctant to look for work. His mother was distraught. Arriving home one day, she found him on the couch again, watching reruns of Mystery Science Theater 3000. “Jesus, look at you,” she said. “If your father could see you, he’d be rolling over in his gravy!”

Why don’t turkeys get invited to high society parties?
Because the hosts are worried they’ll use fowl language.

An octogenarian calls his daughter a few days before Thanksgiving and tells her that he and her mother are getting a divorce. “But, daddy,” she says, “you can’t do that!” He explains that even though they’ve been together 50 years, they’re miserable and it’s for the best. “Please tell your brother and sister,” he says, “because I just don’t want to talk about it anymore.” The daughter immediately calls her siblings; they agree that they will not allow their parents to divorce. The daughter calls her father back. “There’s no way you’re getting a divorce,” she says. “We’re coming there tomorrow to sort this out. Don’t say anything to mom before we get there.” As she hangs up, her father turns to his wife and says, “It’s all taken care of, honey — they’re all coming for Thanksgiving, and it isn’t costing us a dime!”