Three Jokes from Italy

September 15, 2010 at 3:18 am 1 comment

Thanks to Maurizio Codogno, who bought my book from (they were kind enough to ship it to him in Italy), and who also shared a few jokes that weren’t in Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. Enjoy them, hot off the presses from Milan!

Question and Answer

Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a physicist?

A: The mathematician thinks there is only one straight line that passes through two points; the physicist, however, needs more data.

Logic Exam

A student asks his logic professor, “Sir, did I pass or fail the exam?”

The professor replies, “Yes.”

Quantum Mechanics

Every Friday night, a mathematician goes to the pub, sits on the next-to-last stool, turns to the last stool, and asks to a non-existent woman if she would like a drink. The mathematician returns every Friday night for a year, yet the bartender says nothing.

Finally, the last Friday before summer break, the bartender asks the mathematician, “Excuse me, sir. You are clearly aware that there is no woman sitting in that chair. Why do you keep talking to an empty stool?”

The mathematician responds, “According to quantum mechanics, an empty space is not really void. Virtual particles materialize and disappear at every instant. Nobody knows whether the appropriate wave function collapses in such a way that a beautiful girl will appear out of nowhere.”

The bartender raises his eyebrow. “Really? That’s interesting. But couldn’t you just ask one of the women already in the bar if she’d like a drink? Who knows, maybe one of them would say yes.”

The mathematican laughs. “Oh, sure!” he says. “And what is the probability of that happening?”

Entry filed under: Uncategorized. Tags: , , , , , , , .

A Funny Phone Call All About Cannibals

1 Comment Add your own

  • 1. Kevin L. Schwartz  |  December 31, 2013 at 1:47 am

    Greetings — and best wishes for the New Year!

    Many thanks for posting my joke!

    That is: I’m the author of your quantum mechanics joke, posted above. (Or “the best science joke on the Internet,” as Penny calls it on “The Big Bang Theory,” in “The Dead Hooker Juxtaposition.”)

    I posted an early draft on this joke in February, 2002:

    From there it “went viral” and reached the great George Smoot. He brought the joke with him to “The Big Bang Theory,” but I guess he did not know who had written it. (The joke was pretty viral.)

    I still write a lot. Sometimes jokes. Many of those jokes are math/science. Some of those are on my nerd humor blog:

    Kevin L. Schwartz


Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google photo

You are commenting using your Google account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

Trackback this post  |  Subscribe to the comments via RSS Feed

About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

Past Posts

September 2010

Enter your email address to subscribe to the MJ4MF blog and receive new posts via email.

Join 455 other followers

Visitor Locations

free counters

%d bloggers like this: