Posts tagged ‘fractions’

Observations

Some things I’ve noticed…

• Algebra is x sighting.
• Rational people are partial to fractions.
• Geometricians like angles… to a degree.
• Vectors can be ‘arrowing.
• Calculus teachers can go on and on about sequences.
• Translations are shifty.
• Complex numbers are unreal.
• Most people’s feelings about integers are positive.
• On average, people are mean.

Most Eggs-Cellent Math Jokes

Ours is not to reason why; just invert and multiply.

Similarly, don’t waste your time trying to figure out why I’m posting a bunch of jokes about chickens and eggs. I can’t explain it. Just enjoy them, and please don’t analyze me.

How do you teach math to a chicken?
Show it lots of egg samples!

Why do chickens hate school?
They don’t like eggs-aminations!

Who tells the best math jokes on the farm?
Comedi-hens!

How can you drop an egg six feet without breaking it?
Drop it from seven feet!

Why did the chicken go to school?
To get an egg-ucation!

Why do chicken coops have only two doors?
Because if they had four doors, they’d be sedans!

And a joke about the smartest chicken I know…

A chicken walks into a bar. “I’d like a burger and a beer,” he says to the bartender.

“Oh, my God!” the bartender says. “You can talk!”

“Well, look at that,” the chicken replies. “Your ears work!”

“But, you’re a chicken!” the bartender says.

“Ah, I see your eyes work, too,” the chicken says. “Now, can I have my burger and beer?”

“Certainly,” the bartender says. “Sorry about that. It’s just not every day that I see a talking chicken. What are you doing around here?”

“I’m working at the university,” the chicken says. He goes on to explain that he’s helping a professor with research on representation theory and integrable systems, but the bartender clearly has no idea what he’s talking about. So, the chicken enjoys his burger and beer and leaves.

A little while later, the owner of the circus comes into the bar. The bartender says, “You’re the owner of the circus, right? Well, have I got an act for you! I know this chicken who talks, reads, and drinks beer!”

“Sounds great!” says the circus owner. “Have him give me a call.”

The next day, the chicken returns to the bar. The bartender explains that he thinks he can get the chicken a great job at the circus.

“The circus?” asks the chicken. “You mean the place with the big tent, animals, lion tamers and trapeze artists?”

“Yeah!” says the bartender. “The owner would love to hire you!”

“Why?” asks the chicken. “What use would he have for an algebraist?”

Pun and Games

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you know that I love puns. In fact, many people think I’m a very punny guy.

The following joke is a math pun that I created:

One-Half was talking to the Square Root of 3. But the Square Root of 3 was speaking very quietly, and One-Half had trouble hearing him. “Speak up!” said One-Half.

The problem, of course, is that fractions speak louder than surds.

As you probably know, the punch line is a modified version of the idiom, “Actions speak louder than words.”

In a quick poll of my office mates, however, I learned that 75% did not know that surd is another term for an irrational number. It’s an archaic term, to be sure, but it was the predecessor of radical. Sir Francis Bacon used the term in his writing to simply mean “conveying no sense, or meaningless,” so it therefore makes sense that it would be used to describe irrational numbers.

Around 820 AD, Al-Khwarizmi (the Persian mathematician who gave us the words algebra and algorithm) described irrational numbers as “‘inaudible.” Later, this description was translated to the Latin surdus, which means “deaf” or “mute.” (In a linguistics context, surd refers to a consonant produced without sound from the vocal cords.)

Anyway, I recognized that if only 1 in 4 know what a surd is, then it probably doesn’t make sense to use the word in the punch line of a joke. So I modified:

One-Half was talking to a blue jay. But the blue jay was speaking very softly, and One-Half had trouble hearing him. “Speak up!” said One-Half.

The problem, of course, is that fractions speak louder than birds.

Well, phooey. It’s not as mathematical as the original (nor as funny, in my opinion), but at least more people will understand it.

The lone co-worker who knew the word surd said that my joke reminded him of a math joke that was popular many years ago.

Two mathematicians are in a bath tub, and one says to the other, “Please pass the slope.” And the other says, “No slope… ratio!”

I had never heard this joke, nor did I have any idea why it was funny. As it turns out, it is a spoof of the following joke, which I had also never heard, and which I also had no idea why it was funny:

Two elephants are in a bath tub, and one says to the other, “Please pass the soap.” And the other says, “No soap… radio!”

As it turns out, this joke was never meant to be funny. The punch line was meant to be a prank. In the 1950’s, the punch line was used in sociological experiments on mob mentality, showing that people are often willing to laugh at an unfunny joke simply because other people are laughing, and they don’t want to feel left out. Wikipedia has a nice description of the no soap radio punch line.

For your entertainment, here are some more math jokes involving an elephant:

Several mathematicians are asked, “How do you put an elephant in a refrigerator?”

Analyst: Differentiate it and put into the refrig. Then integrate it in the refrig.

Different Analyst: Apply the Banach-Tarsky theorem.

Number Theorist: Use induction. You can always squeeze a bit more in.

Algebraist: Show that parts of it can be put into the refrigerator. Then show that the refrigerator is closed under addition.

Topologist: Have the elphant swallow the refrigerator and then turn it inside out.

Different Topologist: The elephant is compact, so it can be put into a finite collection of refrigerators. That’s usually good enough.

Linear Algebraist: Show that 1% of the elephant will fit inside the refrigerator. Then, by linearity, x% will fit for any x.

Affine Geometer: There exists an affine transformation that will allow the elephant to be put into the refrigerator.

Set Theorist: It’s very easy — refrigerator = {elephant}

Geometer: Create an axiomatic system in which “An elephant can be placed in a refrigerator” is an axiom.

Complex Analyst: Put the refrigerator at the origin and the elephant outside the unit circle. Then get the image under inversion.

Numerical Analyst: Put its trunk inside the refrigerator and refer the rest to the error term.

Statistician: Put its tail in the refrigerator as a sample, and say, “Done.”

Happy National Junk Food Day!

It’s not an official holiday — but it should be! Unofficially, July 21 is National Junk Food Day, so feel free to gorge yourself on your favorite unhealthy snack today.

And lest you think I can’t find a math joke about junk food, here’s one that involves candy bars and fractions:

My wife often tells me I’m like a candy bar: half sweet and half nuts.

For your solving pleasure, here are two candy bar math equations for you today. Can you solve them?

 1 + – =
 2 – + =

1. Caramello – 100 Grand has chocolate, caramel and crispies; add Hershey’s, which has just chocolate; and then remove Crunch, which has chocolate and crispies. That leaves just chocolate and caramel, which is what’s in Caramello.

2. Snickers – Mr. Goodbar has chocolate and nuts; remove Hershey’s, which is just chocolate, leaving only nuts; then add Milky Way, which has chocolate and nougat. That leaves chocolate, nuts, and nougat, the three ingredients in my favorite, Snickers.

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.