Real-Life Double Negatives

July 7, 2011 at 6:24 am 3 comments

“Can a Jewish person eat a ham calzone?” I asked my Jewish friend.

She gave me a look that said, “Oh, goodness, I can’t wait to hear this one…”

I continued. “It seems to me that things cancel out. You’re not allowed to eat ham, but you also aren’t allowed to mix meat and cheese, so this is a double negative.”

“Nice try,” she replied. “Just means you get to ride the express elevator to hell.”

The error with my logic, of course, is that sins are additive, not multiplicative. This is actually quite lucky, if you think about it. Otherwise, you’d have to spend your entire life being remarkably fastidious in keeping track of your sins: an even number of sins, you go to heaven; an odd number of sins, you end up a little lower. The graph looks something like this:

Sins

I’m not the first to tell a joke involving Jews and double negatives. Stanislaw Ulam did it with this joke from his autobiography:

Two Jews are riding on a train through Russia. One asks the other, “Where are you going?” The second replies, “To Kiev.” Whereupon the first says, “You liar, you tell me you are going to Kiev so I would think you are going to Odessa. But I know you are going to Kiev, so why do you lie?”

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3 Comments Add your own

  • 1. xander  |  July 7, 2011 at 10:17 am

    Odessa good one!

    xander

    Reply
  • 2. venneblock  |  July 7, 2011 at 11:13 am

    Ouch! Xander, that might be the first pun that’s ever made me feel physical pain!

    Reply
  • 3. xander  |  July 7, 2011 at 11:18 am

    My mother always told me that the quality of a pun is best judged in the “Oi!” of the beholder. That being said, I don’t think I can claim credit for that one—I’m pretty sure that Odessa Goodwin is the Ukrainian joke tester from Car Talk.

    xander

    Reply

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About MJ4MF

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

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Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.

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