Archive for June 19, 2011
I just got a new stepladder. Don’t get me wrong, it’s a fine stepladder. I just wish I had gotten to know my real ladder.
I had the privilege of knowing my real father.
At age 15, my father faked a birth certificate and joined the Navy. When he was 18, he received a dishonorable discharge — after allowing him to fight in Japan during the last two years of World War II, the Navy finally learned that my dad was under age when he enlisted. So, what did he do? He joined the Army. Before he was 21, he had been to each of the 50 states and had traveled around the world 4 times.
My father had only a sixth-grade education, but he believed in the power of school and learning. It was not easy to get my dad to part with his money. When I was in third grade, my teacher asked me, “If you have two dollars, and you ask your father for another three dollars, how much will you have?”
“I’d have two dollars,” I told her.
“Young man,” she said, “you don’t know your arithmetic.”
“No, Mrs. Wargo,” I said, “you don’t know my father!”
But he often gave me $20 for a good report card, and I was the first kid in my school to have a Commodore 64 with a disk drive. When I graduated high school, my family was subsisting on my father’s disability pension, and I considered working for a year to save money before enrolling in college. ”You’re too damned smart,” he said. “Send in the forms. We’ll make it work.”
My father passed away in December 1994. The last words he said to me were, “You’re my pride and joy.” Father’s Day is always a little rough for me, but it’s a good time to reflect. I continually ask myself, “Am I a man that my father would be proud of?”
Are you kidding? I have to believe my father is smiling down from Heaven, saying, “That’s my boy! Yeah, that geeky one there! He’s the author of a math joke book and math joke blog, ya know.”
For all you math dads (and sons, too), here’s some humor for today:
Son: Dad, can you do my homework for me?
Dad: I’m sorry, son, it wouldn’t be right.
Son: That’s okay. Can you try anyway?
I spent today with my twin four-year-old sons, hiking, doing KenKen (more on that later), playing the anagram game, and helping them figure out how the number of “cheers” we do with our glasses at the dinner table is related to the triangular numbers. What a great day. Happy Father’s Day!