## XXX Rated

Today is 10/10/10, which Julius Caesar and others might have written as X/X/X. In honor of the date, today’s post contains some XXX‑rated jokes. (Okay, not really. There is no pornography. But today’s jokes are slightly off‑color and probably not appropriate for the classroom. Then again, I know a high school teacher who used the following mnemonic to help students remember SOHCAHTOA: Sex Over Hot Coals Adds Heat To Ordinary Affection. So perhaps I don’t really know what is and isn’t classroom inappropriate.)

But before we get to the jokes, a math problem for you containing three 10’s. When the following expression is written in standard form, how many digits does it contain?

101010

(By the way, for all you code geeks, that expression was done with straight HTML. No MathML required! It simply uses nested <sup> tags.)

Okay, to the jokes…

How is sex like a fraction? It’s improper when the larger one is on top.

What is the square root of 69? Eight something.

What is 6.9? A good time interrupted by a period.

I was hanging out in an Internet cafe when my server went down on me.

Calculus teachers do it to the limit.
Statisticians probably do it.
Combinatorialists do it discretely.
Algebraists do it in groups.

No post about dirty math jokes would be complete without…

Speaking of integrals, here’s a half-assed integral:

And a slightly longer one…

The math professor explained to her students that there would be no acceptable excuse for missing the final exam. “Unless you or a loved one dies, I expect you to be here,” she told them. “No other excuse will suffice.”

“Sorry, Johnny,” the professor said. “You’ll just have to write with your other hand.”

Finally, I’ll leave you with my favorite dirty math problem, which I love mainly because of its subtlety:

A mother is 21 years older than her son. In 6 years, she will be 5 times as old as her son. Where is the father?

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• 1. Veky  |  October 10, 2010 at 9:40 pm

Ah, the subtlety of a freight train at full speed. :-P

The father is in only one place he can be so that the problem makes any mathematical sense. :-)

• 2. Chad T. Lower  |  October 20, 2010 at 4:11 pm

I love that joke–however the problem lies in the fact that the people I know who would appreciate the joke wouldn’t be able to calculate the answer and the people I know who could calculate the answer wouldn’t appreciate the joke!

Not as much fun if you can’t share.

• […] This post was mentioned on Twitter by Katie Kresner and Kodie Pipps, Kate Florcot. Kate Florcot said: XXX Rated « Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks: Today is 10/10/10, which Julius Caesar and others might have written as X/X/… http://bit.ly/9apHTy […]

• 4. slederman  |  November 4, 2010 at 5:25 am

Then there’s the catchy joke I learned in high school.

integral(e^u du/dx) takes the place of perfect integral(e^x). Read the last part, integral(e^x) as “sex”.

• 5. Jessi Lee James  |  April 9, 2013 at 11:40 pm

After I initially left a comment I seem to have clicked on the -Notify me when new comments are added- checkbox
and from now on whenever a comment is added I get
four emails with the exact same comment. There has to be an easy method you can remove me from that service?
Thanks!

• 6. venneblock  |  April 10, 2013 at 9:50 am

Jessi – Unfortunately, I can’t change that, you have to do it yourself. There’s info on how to do it here: http://en.support.wordpress.com/following-comments/. It says, “If you want to stop receiving comment notification or start receiving notification on all comments on a particular blog, click the ‘Subscription Options’ link at the bottom of the notification email.”

Hope that helps!

• 7. XXXIII for Increased SEO | Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks  |  October 10, 2013 at 10:11 am

[…] is 10/10/13, or X/X/XIII in Roman numerals. Three years ago, I published XXX Rated to celebrate 10/10/10, and it has consistently been one of my most visited pages. Not surprising. […]

• 8. Perry  |  October 19, 2014 at 11:40 pm

I dont get the mother joke, someone help me.

• 9. venneblock  |  October 20, 2014 at 7:55 am

I don’t want to ruin it for others, so I’ll just tell you that the algebra gives the following system of equations:
$m = s + 21$
$m + 6 = 5 \times (s + 6)$
Solving that should yield a value for s that makes the joke decipherable. If not, email me privately at patrick [at] mathjokes4mathyfolks [dot] com.

The Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks blog is an online extension to the book Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks. The blog contains jokes submitted by readers, new jokes discovered by the author, details about speaking appearances and workshops, and other random bits of information that might be interesting to the strange folks who like math jokes.

## MJ4MF (offline version)

Math Jokes 4 Mathy Folks is available from Amazon, Borders, Barnes & Noble, NCTM, Robert D. Reed Publishers, and other purveyors of exceptional literature.